My Child Works Better With Someone Else

Working with your child in reading blog graphic

“When I say to a parent, “read to a child”, I don’t want it to sound like medicine. I want it to sound like chocolate. ” — Mem Fox

Have you ever had a conversation with a teacher who describes your child as quiet and obedient, and you think “are we talking about the same child?”  It seems to be a common theme when I talk to parents: our children act different at school or with a tutor than they do at home with us.  And usually, away from us is more positive.  So why should we, as parents, put forth the time and effort to learn how to successfully build our students’ reading skills when we know that they would likely listen better to someone else?  Although this is a fair question, there are three reasons that we have to consider putting our apprehensions aside to work with our own children, and three ways that we can do so peacefully.

Reason #1: Nobody knows your child like you do.  When I take on a new tutoring client, my first step is to send out a parent questionnaire.  I want to know as much as possible about the child, and the best source for this is the parent.  My second step is to ask if the child has a file of previous tutoring, report cards, teacher conference forms, etc. that I could look over.  As a tutor, I am gathering as much information as I can to make sure that after I assess the child, I can put together a comprehensive plan for him or her.  As the parent, you can skip this step because you inherently know far more than anyone else about your child.  You know what they respond well to and what pushes them to respond negatively.  You know what skills they had to work really hard on and what skills they learned quickly.  You know their interests, sense of humor, and emotions better than anyone.  And these elements are extremely vital in connecting with the child’s heart to develop the love of reading along with building the skills of reading.  You, as the parent, have a special connection to your child that nobody else has, and this connection can be used to make a very successful reading intervention opportunity.

Reason #2: Flexibility and long term consistency.  Although I suggest that when parents create a tutoring program for their child, they set a routine of specific days and times to work on reading, I also recognize that life is busy.  Summers are filled with vacations and visitors, the fall calendar may contain swim lessons and soccer practice, while the spring calendar is overloaded with t-ball and piano lessons.  Being your child’s teacher enables you to make a schedule that works for you.  If you decide to go on vacation for a week, you can take your tutoring on vacation with you instead of missing a week with a tutor.  In the same way, most tutors are hired for a short season, such as summer, or even one school year.  While the child may make great progress in that period of time, your child may regress when tutoring sessions are suspended, and if he or she starts with a new tutor, they may have to backtrack a little before getting started and making progress again.

Reason #3: Hiring a tutor and working with your own child in reading are not mutually exclusive.  You may decide that your child ultimately responds best to someone other than yourself, or that you already have a tutor who you trust with your child.  As a tutor myself, I believe in the benefits of hiring a tutor.  However, the most important priority is that you are working with your child in reading weather you also have a tutor working with him or her or not.  In my tutoring experience, children of parents who were willing to learn intervention methods and work with their child at home made the fastest, most sustainable progress.  The bottom line is, don’t rely solely on a tutor or teacher to be the only one working with your child in reading.  You should be the primary reading teacher, and the tutors and teachers supplement that.  (If you feel like you want this to be you but don’t know where to start or what to do, check out my e-courses and coaching options!  I would be happy to point you in the right direction and give you confidence to work with your child.)

Okay, so you know the three reasons why it is important for you to “push through” your child’s difficult attitude to work with him or her in reading… let’s talk about three ways that you can do so the most peacefully.

No Tears Reading at Home Method #1: Give your child options.  As adults, we wouldn’t be happy if someone gave us a specific book to read, took us away from whatever we enjoy doing at home, and made us sit down and read it.  Our children feel the same way.  We’ve discussed the power of allowing your child to choose their own books, and this is one of the reasons having a “treasure bag” is so important in convincing your child to read with you (and to enjoy it in the process!  If there is one specific book you want your child to read for some reason, give the child the choice of reading that first or another book first.  That way, they still have an option.  Having choices is a teacher trick to help engage students, and you can use it too!

No Tears Reading at Home Method #2: Find a special spot. When I was in elementary school, I found out that one of my friends had gotten to “camp out” under her dad’s desk one night and I thought that sounded like the coolest idea in the world.  Think like your child… where are some “cool spots” in your home that they may not typically spend time so that when they go to that place, they are automatically thinking about reading?  The living room couch may not be the best place because it may make them think about the television.  In the same way, the kitchen table may make them think more about eating.  Maybe you have a hammock in the back yard, or a porch swing, an overstuffed chair that he or she never sits in, or a cozy cubby under your desk.  Be creative because not only will that signal to your child’s brain that something new is happening, it will also engage them and make them more likely to want to participate.  If you can’t find anywhere in the house, consider the possibility of having a standing date with your child at Starbucks or somewhere similar where he or she can look around and see others reading as well.

No Tears Reading at Home Method #3: Turn it into a game.  As with most things, when something becomes fun, we want to do it more.  Keep in mind that books need to be read at every reading session, but you can also include a game in each session.  Make the game skill based for something your child is learning.  For example, when your child has the wiggles but you need to work on sight words, take a piece of chalk outside and have them write the sight words on your sidewalk while jumping from word to word, calling them out.

Your willingness to work with your child is the first step, which you’ve already taken by reading this post!  So pat yourself on the back for being an incredible parent, get yourself a little coffee or your drink of choice, and sit down to plan how you can use these tips to engage your child in some special reading time.  If you accept this challenge, leave me a note about it!  I can’t wait to hear!

 

Happy Reading!

 

Treasure Bags- Making Reading at Home FUN

Treasure bags Blog Graphic

“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.” — Walt Disney

We’ve talked about how important it is to model a love of reading for your children, and to show that reading is valued in your home.  One way to do this is through creating treasure bags with your child.

A treasure bag is simply a bag that your child can use to carry his or her “stack” of books. For a younger child who is reading picture books, you would want them to carry anywhere from seven to ten books in the treasure bag at all times. Children who are reading chapter books can have two to three in their bags, and they may also want to mix in a picture book or two as well.  These books can be exchanged from either your home or public library at a set interval of time (for example, every Monday.)  See below for an explanation of the importance of keeping the same books for a set period of time.

Colten Treasure Bag

Creating Your Treasure Bags

This is a cost-effective project that you can make as crafty or as simple as your personality desires!  I started with a blank canvas bag from Hobby Lobby, but you could use something as simple as a reusable shopping bag.  (You do want to make sure your bag is made of a material that can take a little wear and tear, as books can be heavy and your plan is to allow your child to tote these along with them.)  Have a special moment where you celebrate with your child that they are old enough now to get a treasure bag, and make one for yourself if you don’t already have one!

Two important elements on your treasure bag decorations are: 1- Your child’s name and 2- pictures or designs that they love.  For example, if your child loves basketball, let him or her draw pictures of basketballs on the book bag.

You can create a simple design with markers on the canvas bags, or you can get creative and iron or glue on objects.  Just make sure that anything you glue on is large enough that your child, or another child, cannot choke on them if they fall off.

Filling Your Treasure Bags

This is another opportunity to get excited with your child about reading! You may want to say something like “I am SO EXCITED that today we are going to get to fill your book bags with books for you to read all week from the library!”  Give your child a certain number of books to look for (again, I recommend 7-10 for a young child, 2-3 if your child is into chapter books) and allow them to “shop” for books that interest them.

Choosing Books

Allow your children to choose books they are interested in.  Give them the opportunity to explore multiple genres so they can discover what they enjoy reading.  Take them to the non-fiction and the fiction section.  Talk about what the differences are, and suggest they choose books from both parts of the library.  It is okay for children to choose 1-2 books that are too easy or too hard for them, but make sure they have 3-4 books that are on their “just right” level.  An easy way to discover what books are just right for them is to open the book, let them read a page or two, and if they stumble over more than five words, it may be too hard.  Again, that doesn’t mean they can’t choose this book, but make sure they choose a few that are also “just right.”  Teach your kids how to examine the appropriateness of the book by having conversations as you count the words they cannot immediately identify, so that after you have repeated this process for a few weeks, children should be able to determine what books are just right for them without your assistance.  This is a process I used in my first grade classroom, so students as young as six years old are able to do this if they are taught how.

Keeping Books

A child’s first instinct is to read through a book, put it away, and choose a new one.  The problem with this habit is that the child misses many opportunities offered by the book by only reading it once.  If your child has 7-10 picture books as we previously mentioned that they read repeatedly for a week, the benefits are:

  • Opportunities to familiarize themselves with sight words- becoming familiar with the text helps associate a spoken word to the written word, which grows your child’s sight word base
  • Opportunities to build fluency- The more familiar your child is with a text, the more he or she is able to read it at a normal talking speed, which is our goal for reading speed. Repeated readings build fluency.
  • Opportunities for deeper comprehension- Just as watching a movie more than once brings deeper reflection and understanding of the complexities, reading a book multiple times offers the same benefit.  One of our goals of comprehension is to make connections to other texts or to our own lives.  The first time a child reads a text they may be focused on decoding more than comprehending, and so the additional readings open up his or her thought capacities to make these deep connections and applications.

Loving Your Treasure Bags

Find at least 20 minutes a day for your children to spend reading his or her treasure bag.  Allow them to find a cozy place in the house where they love to read, and take the opportunity to model reading yourself during this time if possible.  Make this a special time… read together, sit together and read independently, sit in a hammock or on the porch swing, sit under a dark desk and read with a flashlight, or cuddle down in bed.

The Value of Treasure Bags

I’m going to venture to say that in my opinion, time spent in independent reading may be the most important variable in helping grow your children’s reading skills.  The treasure bag is a method for making it exciting for children, giving the opportunity to choose what they read, and for encouraging repeated reading of texts.  It may seem that this is trivial, but if you are serious about improving your children’s reading skills, I believe this is foundational.  If you choose to use this time to read along with your children, (especially on those books that they choose that are a little too hard for them to read independently) it is a great opportunity to teach decoding and comprehension skills as well.

If you decide to take this step towards building strong reading skills in your child, please send us a picture of your treasure bag or of your children reading from their bag.  We can’t wait to hear about the growth your child is going to make simply from this fun task.

Happy reading and treasure bag decorating!

Choosing What to Read with your Child

Choosing What to Read With Your Child blog graphic

I commonly hear parents ask “How do I know what books my children should read?”  Many are concerned about getting books on the appropriate “reading level.”  While the idea of reading levels should not be entirely dismissed, we also want to make sure that we are not overly concerned about choosing a book for a child based on an arbitrary grade level reference assigned to that book.

I grew up loving to read.  Baby Sitter’s Little Sister, Sweet Valley Twins, and Boxcar Children were as close to me as a sibling, and played almost as significant a role in my upbringing.  My parents did an incredible job of reading to me, modeling the love of reading, providing for my reading needs by taking me to the library once a week and entering me in summer reading contests.  If you would have asked me as a child what my hobbies were, I would have told you reading was number 1, right along with baking in the kitchen with my mom.

This was true until eighth grade when our school introduced a program which involved an assessment to determine each child’s reading level and required that we only get books with the colored dot that corresponded to our reading level.  Suddenly, the world of literacy shrunk down significantly to just a few shelves which may or may not have held books that interested me.  I quickly went from loving to hating reading.  It wasn’t until I became a first grade teacher that I discovered my love for literacy again.  Those colored dots extinguished something beautiful in my mind, and I am passionate about preventing that from happening to our children.

Children should choose books based on their interests.

Does your child love bugs?  Let her or him check out a non-fiction text with pictures and diagrams and facts!  How about solving mysteries?  Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys are still great series to share with children, as well as Cam Jansen and other more modern series.  The bottom line is, find something they love and give them a book about it.  They will naturally transfer their love to that book as well, which begins to instill a love of reading.

What if the book is too difficult for my child to read?

Even if a book is too difficult, children are more likely to work to decode words if the subject holds their interest.  If it’s a subject they are already familiar with, they already have a framework of understanding which aids in comprehension, even if the text is on a higher level than they would be able to comprehend on a different subject.

This is also an opportunity to create a reading memory with your child.  Read the book along with them, be ready to explain concepts that are confusing and help them decode words that they are unfamiliar with.

What if the book is too easy for my child to read?

The summer that I was pregnant, my friend Teress recommended that I read a series called The Selection, which seems to have been written for a teen girl audience.  Far older than their target age group, I found myself finishing one book in the series every day or two, staying up late reading by the light of my cell phone, and ordering each book successively on amazon until I ran out of the entire series.  I would tell my husband stories of the people in the books as if they were real, and receive supportive, but confused faces from him in return.  Were those books below my “reading level?”  Absolutely.  But did they grow my love of reading and improve my reading ability because of the time I spent in them?  Most definitely.

Let your child read the book they choose, even if it is too easy for him or her, because it will grow a love of reading, and there are intangible benefits that should not be underestimated.

I do recommend that children have a “stack” or special reading bag with books on multiple levels.

A final note.  In the reading world, we call it a “self-selected text” when a child is able to choose their own book to read.  This is powerful, regardless of your child’s age.  I spent five years working with adult struggling readers, and the most important element in my intervention was allowing them to choose a book that was interesting to them.  Everything I taught them about reading started within the confines of the book they chose.  Not only did they all make significant reading progress, they also grew to love reading and see the value of it.  Many times the books would have been too difficult for them to read alone, but they had me to play the parent role and walk them through the text to help them to be successful with it.  Had I assigned them a book on their “reading level,” it would have likely been a subject far too immature for their age, and I doubt they would have been motivated to continue working towards improving reading.

In conclusion, don’t be afraid to let your kids pick their own books!  Your challenge for today is to take your children to a local library and let them pick what they want!  Then snuggle down and create a reading memory.

 

Happy reading!

 

Reading with your Baby

Reading with your baby blog graphic

“Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.” — Emilie Buchwald

When you ask a new mom if her child is saying words yet, most will say that the baby is starting to say momma or dada… my little one learned to say puppy first, and “Brown Bear” second.

That’s right, before she could even say momma, she was saying “Brown Bear” in the sweetest voice, with a smile on her face, because one of her favorite things to do in the world was to read Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Eric Carle.  Of course she couldn’t technically read, but when I put her in my lap and opened that book… lightly bouncing her on my legs as I read the rhythmic lines, she was happy.  She loved looking at the pictures, she loved turning the pages, she loved bouncing in my lap, sometimes dancing to the rhythm, and she loved participating by saying with me “Brown Bear!”  Before she even really understood what a book was, she loved reading.

One of the most important gifts we can give our children is the love of reading.  It can start as early as a newborn baby who likes to look at pictures. Research shows that the earlier a child is exposed to books and reading, the better opportunities they have to grow strong reading skills.  But if your child is far beyond the infant age, it isn’t too late.  Parents of young children can still enjoy a simple bedtime story routine with parents. And if your children have far outgrown the stage of wanting you in their rooms for a bedtime story, you can still connect with them through literature by choosing a book to read and discuss together.  The ever popular Harry Potter, Hunger Games, or my favorite, The Selection series, are all great for parents and teenagers alike.  When you participate in any of these activities with your children, you are not only building skills such as analysis, meta-cognition, and comprehension, but you are creating reading memories and a love of reading with your child.  The love of reading is the foundation for growing strong skills.  Nobody gets really good at doing something they hate. In order to grow and improve as a reader, children need to enjoy reading.

It would be a beautiful thing today for you to grab a book, sit down with your child, and enjoy it together.  It will warm your heart to have them close by, and you will be building something special that will last a lifetime.

If you choose to accept the challenge, leave a comment below to tell me all about your experience!

Happy Reading!

 

Parents Grow Their Children Best

Parents Grow Their Children Best graphic

I’ll never forget the feeling of holding my crying baby in the darkness of 2:30 in the morning as I frantically searched online for infant sleep tips. I generally consider myself a knowledgeable, educated woman, but when it came to the topic of infant sleeping, and even more real, when it came to those dark, sleepy moments, I just needed someone to answer my questions and help.

When we, as parents, see that our children have a need, it is our natural desire to want to do something to help or meet that need.  In my nearly ten years of reading intervention and reading instruction, I’ve found that most parents have a deep desire to help their children improve their reading skills, but lack the tools to know how to help.  Many end up spending way too much money on tutoring programs with little to no result, and others do everything they know how to do to work on it at home with their children, but end up feeling frustrated and frazzled at the end of it all.

Helping your children learn to read should not be expensive, and it should not be a stressful experience.  Instead, it should be a natural, beautiful time together.  It should create precious memories together, just as lovely as a family vacation or special outing.  But just as I needed specific steps to learn how to help my child sleep through the night, I know that parents need manageable, clear steps to help their children learn to read or improve their reading, and that is why I have created “Grow Strong Readers” as a resource to guide parents developing strong reading skills in their children.

As a parent, you know your children better than anyone else.  You were there when they learned to eat, walk, and wave.  You know what excites them and what scares them.  And more than anyone in the world, they love and want to learn and grow from you.  While I support education in public, private and home school settings, I believe that regardless of where your child is being formally educated, reading is a practice that should occur in the home from infancy to adulthood outside of school.  Parents play a major role in this process.

My goal is to guide parents to the knowledge and understanding we all need in order to help our kids be successful readers, regardless of their age, hindrances, or current ability levels, along with supplying the tools they need to accomplish this goal.  My tips are simple and immediately applicable.  Download my “Five Fast Tips for Reading Improvement” for free to get started!  You can subscribe to my newsletter and receive e-mail updates when I post new tips to the blog, and you can even ask me a question directly.  I’m excited to work with you and hear how your child has grown!